How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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What types of animals are the most dangerous? Dangerous ones.

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas. Nothing. He was Jewish.

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Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

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You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? Purple because, ice-cream has no bones.

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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Q: Why wouldn't the other kids play with Timmy at recess? A: Because he was a burn victim and had no face.

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! In for a penny, in for a pound. I'm Donald Trump!

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What do shoes and boxes have in common Both will get squashed if a washing machine lands on one of them

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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