Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

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could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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i used to take arrows to the knee,til i took one to the balls.

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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whats polish and black a polish black person

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

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A person from Singapore eats

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

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What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

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Why was the man whistling? He was calling his friend.

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Dakota Fanning

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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Yo mamma is so fat that she is likely to consume large amounts of food regularly.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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