I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many people does it take to light a fag? I love BBW porn!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. ... There was no reply because the resident was on holiday.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are rainbow. Violets are rainbow. Everything is rainbow. Thats why you don't take LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A mormon walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the ghost say to the bee boo-bee

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You were probably expecting a poem or something but no this is just a gardening fact

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

who dosent like to wear shirts and is not straight Petko Manchev

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I wrote a funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the heroin addict get staff infection? His skin broke open multiple times without proper cleansing.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

thumb_up thumb_down -5

SHE GOT A BIG BOOTY SO I CALL HER by her real name because she is a woman and worthy of my respect.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops