How does Michael J. Fox mix his paint? He uses the paint mixing stick that is provided, for free, by most reputable hardware stores.

A guy walks into a grocery store. He asks a lady where the potatoes are. She says on isle 5 He goes to isle 5, but there are no potatoes.

How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

why did the blonde get caught shop lifting? she wasnt a very good theif

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

Wanna hear a joke? Woman's rights.

Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

A man walks up to a girl and says "Hello there" The girl doesn't respond because she has been deaf and blind for her entire life and doesn't know he is there. Potatoes.

D/M/Y ~~ Take 21/12/2012 Flip it upside down Take the 2's out from both ends (1/12/201) Take out all the ones and two's (//0) Take your zero and turn it 90 degrees to the right Take out the forward slashes What you are left with, a potato.

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

Why don't you ever stick your hand into the bottom of the jelly bean jar? Cuz' the black ones will steal your watch

knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's DEAD!

Want to hear a funny joke Rojo Bunchie

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...