What is white and smells like wood? White painted wood

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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Last words of a redneck - "Hold my beer and watch this"

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen... A Submarine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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