what did the bannana say to the milk carton. nothing bannanas cant talk and their on the other side of the store

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing, she had no arms. Knock Knock Who’s there? Not Sarah.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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Why Couldn't the pirates see the movie? Because the mall strictly enforced local curfew laws ; and one of the pirates was unable to provide a valid form of identification.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

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Sometimes black people kill other black people.

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whats worse than a dead baby two dead babies what could be worse than that? constapation

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How to confuse a dumbass: see next post.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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What she says: “You’re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend.” What she means: “You’re really sweet, but I definitely don’t want to date you.”

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How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

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What's the differece between a rock and a black guy? A rock can't eat fried chicken.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing. Stubbing your toe hurts like hell.

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This "anti-joke" got me an A+ many many years ago, shortened though, so you can make Your own conclusions. Beware of the rising sight, do not stare at the sunny dry sky... The poles... Do not stare at the blood as it drips it, the sand covered ground soaked red... Cover your ears! The seal is not looking above, with but is shouting to you! "WHY DID YOU FORSAKE ME!!!" HE ASKS AS YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN HIT HIM, smirking sadistically, SMILING, yes... Even LAUGHING! The rain soaks you wet, as the skies themselves cry and hide in shame... ...The seal is broken, so watch as your kin, those among your children twist to hellish beasts whose demon is the only name they bear... Readying to conquer the world! ...Yet they need to be certain, to be certain that your master is gone, yet we have waited FOR TOO DAMN LONG! The master answers no more, darkness covers the skies as the blood soaked earth beyond your feet decays, yet you feel no fear, no adrenaline pumping, no tears, no soul crushing fear! What kind of MONSTER ARE YOU? Darkness falls, you struggle with no defense... No excuse... You BROKE THE SEAL! The first three awaken, as the conquest of this world IS AT HAND OF THE DEMONS! ...This leads to war... To strife, to disease!... Until you cannot run no more... Hope... You fall to your knees saying your last prayers, as the pale one appears before you... Jesus? No, his hateful father which abandoned you over two thousand years ago... ...Salvation you shout to the skies! Our savior is here! As the forces of darkness stare in defeat... Yet as his father, the father of sin, the father of the seal gazes into your soul with red eyes and demonic teeth and laughs, you no longer wonder where is your God, nor what has he become... ...But rather what you made him, the light of glory, now the new KING OF DARKNESS! AND ALL THANKS TO YOU MOCKING THE MEMORY OF HIS SONS DEATH! You had it coming, this world belongs to us... And we are not your kind... TRUE GLORY BE KNOWN TO ALL! THE ERA OF THE TRUE DEMONS IS OVER! ...You are the last remaining, lying on the floor broken, the very last words you hear... ...Revenge is mine! Humanity is dead... You feel the holy spirit, yet all you feel is satisfied quenched screams of centuries, even millenia of revenge... ...Rule new children of the dark, humanity is taking its deepest, saddest last breaths, "The death of my only true son, shall no longer pass me by" God has finally returned... But not to save you... ...God is against you! and you know why FAR TOO WELL!... :You know far too well who I am... But then again, do you know me and what I am at all? You will... Soon enough children of the forsaken one... Because I am his prophet.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

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Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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