"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Once upon a time

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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the man was talking to a phone no answered cause he talking to a brick wall

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This isn't funny.

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You know what isn't funny? Getting punched in the face. You know what is funny? Brittany Spears getting punched in the face.

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

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Why did the baker turn off the oven? He had run out of business

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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