Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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autsim

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knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

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How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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What did the cookie monster eat? Food

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why couldn't the boy use the computer He could i meant could

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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How much does the Holo cost? Six million.

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I'm a poet and I didn't even realize I was one

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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You wanna hear a joke? Me too

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what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops