Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? dead babies dont stick to the roof of your mouth when you are eating them.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the teacher arrive late for class? Because his father had a stroke the night before, and they had to rush to the hospital and because of exhaustion, he missed the bus, and arrived ten minutes late.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the little girl drop her teddy bear? Because she was being sexually molested. Why did the little Jewish girl drop her teddy bear? Because gas came out of the shower-head.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

my name is CC im a little bit retarted but i only drink my own urin and sometimes i like to have a big dinner with poop urin and my friends urin CC for life!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo Mama is so stupid, she believes in God. While her faith has absolutely nothing to do with her intelligence and in 2014 only the most bigoted and stupid people would demean people based on their religion,she does have an IQ of 65 and is therefore believed to be mentally inadequate. It's really quite sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the deaf person see? He was blind too, so he didn't see anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hhahahahahhahhahahahahhaahhayournanisdeadhahhahahahahahahah

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

haha look at that guys shirt! what's wrong with it? i don't know.. nothing i guess

thumb_up thumb_down -5

lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the woman sad? Because her son died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

ADAM FANTUZZI SUCKS KIRANS BALL SACK

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops