You might be a redneck if someone slaps you on the back of the neck.

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

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*see an orphan* Knock knock Whos there Not you parents ...

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Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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What do you get when you cross a rusty nail and a foot? Tetanus

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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In an apartment complex, a black family lived on the first floor, a mexican family lived on the second floor, and a white family lived on the third floor. Suddenly, at about noon on tuseday, a giant tornado came through town and took out the entire complex, destroying everything. Why did only the white familey survive the catastophy? Because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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whats white and big and white? alot of things...

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What did the white guy say when a black man punched him? Ow, i am sueing for assault. that is a crime

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sorry son your nanas been put down

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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Q;How many screams does it take to ruin a good riddle? A: OOOOOONNNNEEEEEEEEEEE! Moral: This potentially awesome riddle may or may not have been aborted by a scream.

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A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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the only thing funny about this website is the fact ciaran hawkins is in love with it

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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