Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he was mentally handicaped

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Banana Hamock.

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being unaware of his surroundings, the chicken was startled by an oncoming motor vehicle. Due to the animals vapid logic an reasoning, based on impulse it quickly ran to the other side of the street to avoid its imminent death by the speeding automobile. Unknowingly, the chicken had reached the other side of the road,

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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Refridgerator.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

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Does pizza sound good for dinner?

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops