What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

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What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

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Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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