What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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Why was Armando unable to be found by his friend Ashley ? A: They both were murdered 7 years ago, and bodies are unable to do anything if they lost their soul that was with that body.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Why did Lebron go to Miami? Because Chuck Norris told him to.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was osama bin laden

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What do you call 100 Americans at the bottom of the ocean? A US submarine crew.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a man, a bear and a pig? A. ManBearPig

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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A Catholic priest has the choice between spending an hour with a young girl or a young boy. Which does he choose? Neither because that's illegal and completely immoral for a priest.

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a pornstar comes early to a party

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Nickelback

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three wars.

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Basically copying you.

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A giant foot comes over the town and a man says "theres something big afoot" hahahahahahaha

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play including his 6 year old sister who has down syndrome.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter... Actually I lied, girls go to the kitchen

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

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Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

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Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops