I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

What happened when the turkey jumped out of the airplane? It fell.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

Know what's funnier than the holocaust? Almost everything i can possibly imagine. The holocaust was a terrible case of mass extermination due solely to naxis racist views

I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

Why did the armadillo fall off the cliff?

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

What do two Jews have in common? They both practice the same religion.

guy walks into a bar, ouch

A Priest and a young child walk into a dark alley.... It leads to a church and he talks to the young boy about God

a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

Dude did you hear of that mexcican who made a succesful living? Yeah. Me too,

Why did the man start vacuuming his neighbor's floor? He had to get the GSR

How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

I was walking down the street then my hands were itchy so I stuck em in my pockets Jk, I'm a donkey. We don't have hands

what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

A black person went into a store and paid full price for his tv

Miscarriages.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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