What do astronauts do if the want a party? They planet

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy? A: Nothing, he's a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The awkward moment when you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating in mid air? Drop It Niggher!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the black guy stop drinking his kool-aid? He learned of its high sugar content and began to drink a glass of water as a healthier option.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: what do you get when you mix a bull dog and a shiitzu? A: a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Life is like a box of chocolates, quite strange to enjoy when you're single.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops