Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red violets are blue last time i dropped something this hard it ended world war 2?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats 1 + 1? 2

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The Moon Landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops