Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? Cindy your neighbor. I was wondering if I could borrow some milk, I ran out.

What did the blondes left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they haven't met yet.

A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

who likes gay porn and has dirty littlesweeneys thathesticks up his hole? Jahn Willems

What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

How do u keep annoying children off your front lawn? Molest Them.

How did the blind dyslexic boy find his way out of the cornfield? -He drew backwords numbers and letters in the dirt

Where did susie go after the explosion? everywhere. What was susie after the explosion? a puzzle.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

What did the elephant say to the clown? Swell, morning isn't it?

Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

What's worse than Jedward? Nothing. They are really and truly awful.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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