Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man nothing. Because It's a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So there's this moose right? And he walks into the store and asks where the potatoes are. And the cashier lady says aisle 5. So the moose walks to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than ten dead babies in one tree? I dont know, but that is quite a graphic sight i have in my mind right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I forgot what i was gonna say

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you cross bread an eagle, a wolf and shark together? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it will kill all of us!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's 9+ 10?! 19

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

fish fishy caoimhin

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops