Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms! Knock knock! Who'z there? Not Suzy.

A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

Q: What do you call a black woman who can't tell you who her baby daddy is? A: "Mam". Rape is a serious and painful crime, and the strength to raise a child on her own without her consent is worthy of respect.

Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

How do the american stop getting fat ? They don't.

Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

Roses are red, Bacon is red, Poems are hard, Bacon

two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

What s the difference between a pigeon ?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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