What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

I once did something.

Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

Like to tell patrick porcupine to stop gaming

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

Why shouldn't you drink and drive? You might spill your beer

What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

who likes gay porn and has dirty littlesweeneys thathesticks up his hole? Jahn Willems

Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

HOLY SHIT!!!!

There is big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse And helping your uncle jack off a horse

Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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