Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Autism... is not funny at all, it is a serious issue in today's day and age and must be addressed and cured

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock Who's There? Me I kill you again HA HA HA

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What name does Steve Bartman go by Now? Steve Bartman, but he just hides all day trying not to be killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear asks the rabbit does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass on the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are blue i use refrigerators to keep my food cool

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How are Lamborghinis and piles of dead babies alike? I don't have either in my garage. Except for the pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than getting stabbed in nuts? A retarded baby that survived the abortion

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops