"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

If youre African, why are you white?

What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

What does Snoop Dogg eat when he's sick? Chicken Noodle Snoop.

Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

i died. new product by steve jobs

Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

Q: What's more silly than the idea of a wealthy, successful black man? A: A Clown

sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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