Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black and so is my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is it wrong to love your neighbour? You would be loving a dickhead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can't Tom Maynard play cricket anymore Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says, "I'll man the guns. You drive."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +9

a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops