- Anti Joke

I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

Wanna here a good joke?

what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one, its a fairly easy task

Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body in an accident? He bled to death.

j

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

If you were a cactus, why?