What is the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I take my cleats off when I jump on trampolines

A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

Jesus, a frog, and Faith Hill walk into a bar. The frog says, "What is this, a joke?"

You Mom is so ugly, It makes sense why you always have that look on your face!

why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

a jerk that i knew was in a bar. he was about to drive home. at first i tried to stop him until he was sober. instead he punched me in the face. then i dared him to drive home as fast as possible. he died that night... i texted him all the way...

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

So, a screw driver walks into a bar, and the bar tender sais "Hey Screw Driver" we have a drink named after you" the screw driver goes, "Really? You have a drink named Bob"

Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

Your social life.

What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

Yo mama is so stupid that she is currently taking courses in a community college to get her degree in business so she can have a well-paying job.

There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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