What do you call a bunch of hobos having sexual intercourse? A soup kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

thumb_up thumb_down

A disabled man walked into a- That can't be right

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down

why did sally fall off the swing cause she had no arms knock knock who's there? not sally

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

thumb_up thumb_down

there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the mother sad? Because she had just watched her beloved baby get shoved in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down

Aww good to see you looking positive! He said to the boy dying of HIV

thumb_up thumb_down

There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

thumb_up thumb_down

Cleveland winning something

thumb_up thumb_down

dont you love porch monkeys? no.

thumb_up thumb_down

women sports....

thumb_up thumb_down

If Voldemort was gay who would be his partner? Happy potter

thumb_up thumb_down

What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a man with no arms and legs? An amputee

thumb_up thumb_down -2

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats funnier than a dead baby?... a dead baby dressed as a clown whats funnier than that?... A pile of dead babies dreesed as clowns Whats funnier than that?... that the baby in the bottom of the pile is alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops