How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

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An elderly man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Dad!" The old man replies, "Hi son. I'll have a Bud Light." The bartender serves his dad a Bud Light and says, "I'm thinking about going back to school to become a doctor." The old man says, "I'm an alcoholic." The bartender replies, "Great, another Bud Light coming up!"

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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Why did the boy go to his room? Because his father told him to.

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Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

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What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken was locked in a cage and the nearest intersection is about a mile away.

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whats red, brown and blown up? a hampster in a microwave

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Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

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knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

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What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

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I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

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Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

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What did the POW say to his captor? I do not want to be waterboarded.

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb.

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what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it does whatever the hell it wants to do!

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call me if you want xxx on 0407777235

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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