I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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What did the Catholic priest say after he fell off a cliff? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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What do you get when you mix a baby and chemical waste? A bad smoothie.

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How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

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What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

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My peni s

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What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a rock? The rock doesn't cheat on it's wife.

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What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

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Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

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Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

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Why was the little boy crying? Well first off he is adopted. He then woke up and found out his pop star dad is dead. ..... His name is blinket.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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There are three muffins sitting in an oven. The first one says nothing. The second one also says nothing. They're just muffins and muffins can't talk.

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Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

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what happened when the sports mascot ate a bean and cheese burrito? he shat inside his costume and got fired.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

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Why did little Billy fall off his bike? Anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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