A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to get intoxicated and then commits a felony.

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What do you call a black woman that flys a plane? - a pilot...

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What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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So a man walks into a bar and gets a drink, then a man walks up to him and tries to start a fight, the first man says, "No thanks" and walks home.

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If an aeroplane falls from 15,000 feet in the air and crashes into and orphanage is it possible that no-one will get hurt? No,the aeroplane will destroy the orphange hurting the property value.

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What happenend after the chicken tried to cross the road? a KFC opend

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I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

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What do you call a needy person? A person whos needs need needs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

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Decode this; Hetay owcay aidsay oomay. Answer: ummmmm.... Let me think....ummm, does anybody speak pig latin?

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Mexican and an American are on a plane. It crashes due to an oversight concerning its weight limit, killing all of its passengers.

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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what happened to the guy that got attacked by a shark he died

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Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

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How do you scare a brunette? Hide behind a door or wall until the unsuspecting person walks by, then jump out and yell.

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What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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What happens when you park a new Cadillac with a roll of $100 dollar bills on the dashboard in a black neighborhod? Many residents of that peaceful community will briefly glance at it and admire the wealth of the automobile's owner.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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