How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

whats the difference between ur mom and my mom? nothing i slept with both of them

Choir.

I got a joke for ya. George W. Bush was our president. He is a joke, but no one is laughing.

Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

What did catwoman say to batman? meow.

What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

People spending hours typing nothing but cus words? Who does that?

What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

Ben Affleck

knock knock who's there? dave dave who? dave suddenly burst into tears as his grandmothers altzimers became so serious she forgot his name

Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

A jewish man walks into a bar and then gets hit in the testicles. he now has testicular cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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