this is not a drill.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

Mitt Romney

Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

Mind magic for fuck ups: Did you know you can train your dog to magically arrive by saying YOUR name! Just tell it what your name is a lot and voila! Moral: made me laugh, fuck the rest of you XD

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

What is Osama Bin Laden's favourite colour? Doesn't matter. He's dead.

What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

What has 4 legs and cant walk? A paralyzed dog

im gey

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A vast quantity of things.

What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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