What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are grey Violets are grey I live in Africa Give me water

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse didn't walk into a bar. The door wasn't big enough

thumb_up thumb_down +1

man walks into a bar his lack of awareness means that he didnt notice the maintenance sign in front of him he falls in a 200foot deep hole and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A fat African a rich mexican and a gay guy jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The gay guy because fat Africans and rich Mexicans don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How does a black guy die? He doesn't , he's black

thumb_up thumb_down +1

1. Why did sally fall of the swing? -because she had no arms. 2.Knock Knock -Who's there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how bout that airplane foood!!!1

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Gay jokes arn't funny. "Come" on guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo' mom is so fat, She should probably consider a low fat diet in which no more than 30% of the calories are from fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Nazi doctor drown a Jew in the lake? Because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Once a upon of time, there was 7 dwarfs. Their names are Sleepy, Stupid, Sexy, Shithead, Sonovabitch, Shutup, and Simon. They are a street gang called the 7 dwarfs and was notorious for causing trouble. All the dwarfs got away from the police except for Simon, because that was his real name.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Eh yo Sean u mr. Kingston Hey, how are you doing?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock! knock! Who's there ...So y do you have a peep whole?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the cow do when it got run over by a tractor? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops