Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why do black people play basketball? Because they can join their friends in playing an extremely fun and calorie-burning sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Stealth baseballs record

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red violets are ponies I dont know what to say mircowave

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops