What did the Dementia sufferer get for Christmas?

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

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Hello

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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What do you call a Black Man in the ocean? A scuba diver

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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What is so bad about a black jew. They have to sit in the back of the gas chamber

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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What's worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two buses.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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Whats black and white and red all over Racial violence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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