Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Simba was moving slow,so I told him to MUFASA!!!

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the girl throw the clock out of the window? The clock was broken, and it was the only valuable object in her possession.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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What does a nun and a hat have in common? Size

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my uncle used to tickle me.. he's in prison for child abuse

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Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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Who gives a shit? Justin Beiber.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

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All these jokes are so much funnier when I read them during class, laughing my ass off and everybody's looking at me like I'm retarded

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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how are a ferrari and a pile of dead babies similar? neither are good to have in your garage when the police come.

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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What did the Mexican overdose on to die. Nothing, he died of old age

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If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

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why didn't the boy get his soda Because the cashier shot him

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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