5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

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How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

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A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

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Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

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Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

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Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

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Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

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Why did the girl have twins she was raped

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

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Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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