Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

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How do you confuse a blonde? Hit her over the head with a baseball bat until she has concussion

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What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

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When Miley Cyrus sticks out her tongue, people usually are there to take a photograph.

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Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

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Your moms so fat, she needed repruductive surgury.

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Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? Subscribe to find out; starting at only $14.99 a month! For more jokes similar to this one, subscribe to "Horrible Jokes" for $95 a month! Subscription Plans: - $14.99: Answer one joke per month - $49.99: The above plan... PLUS a free copy of "Antijoke, the book" - $99.99: A free cookie - $1099.99: A free cookie and a pass to the dark side - $0.25: Eternal happiness Order now for best prices! Or else we'll burn down your house and kill your extended family! Thank you!

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A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

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what do trees like to drink? r o o t b e a r

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

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Why did the Teacher cry? Because he was sad.

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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What do you get when you cross black man and a Hispanic woman A child that is a combination of both ethnic groups

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

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What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

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What the man from the arapahoe tribe say to the mexican who was living in a trash bag? You should try a hotel room. They comfortably sleep 67-493 mexicans.

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What would you get if you crosses a potato and a frog? Nothing because potatoes cannot breed with animals

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Your mom is over the average weight for a person of here height and age.

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What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

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What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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