What did one say to the other woman? I have a penis

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A man in a trash compactor.

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A obese woman, a anorexic woman and a average weight woman sit down to eat. They all have a good time.

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How you know that you are flying with a "no frills" airline? There are no meals or films provided, no orange juice to drink during ascent and descent and no mid-flight shop service.

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What is black and red? Something that is black and red.

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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Why did the purse kill a circus yeast? Secks

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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Why did the kid want to do his science test? He didnt, who would want to do a science test...

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What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

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Well, there's one way...

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What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Wanna hear a joke? Woman's rights.

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almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

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I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

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Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

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What do you get when you cross a Fish and a Duck? A Dish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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