what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

What's worse than loading babies into a garbage truck. Answore: unloading them with a pitch fork.

why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

Why couldnt Jimmy ride a bike? refrigerator

Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

Unfortually last night Andrew McNeil was studying soo hard that his head exploded and the next day at school, his friends found out and then cheered with laughter and happieness.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

Finally, lets take the fight two the streets shall we, no I am not asking, asking is for pussies: YOU VIOLATED AND KILLED MY FATHER! YES YES WHAT IS IT WITH YOU WOMEN ANYWAYS I VIOLATED YOUR MOTHER TOO, BUT YOU DON`T HEAR HER WHINING ABOUT IT! In fact tell her to stop her sending me nude shots, I prefer it when she sends me those she takes of you in your sleep... Your friendly Neighborhood R*pist Moral Man:The day Moral Man graced your village was the worst day of your life, for me it was fathers day! Literally, do you really think I killed your father? I would never comitt suicide! Now, let us celebrate our reunion with some... "Moral WINcest" Barlog: Yes we would like to see the tapes you made for me banging her mother. two Super Turbo edition hours later: YEEEEEEEEEEES! YEEEEEEEEEEEES!

A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

What do you call an asian woman with one leg? By her name.

What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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