A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics? Not being retarded.

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On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

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what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

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Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 was a pussy.

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What did the UPS man bring Sara? a box. whats inside it is only Sara's buisness

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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What is funnier then a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown!

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What did one man say to the other? "hi other man"

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

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A man walks into a bar. He has had a tough day at work and unwinds with a beer. He goes home to his loving family. He makes love to his wife that night. It's good but not great.

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What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A man in a trash compactor.

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What is black and red? Something that is black and red.

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How you know that you are flying with a "no frills" airline? There are no meals or films provided, no orange juice to drink during ascent and descent and no mid-flight shop service.

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Why did the purse kill a circus yeast? Secks

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What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

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Why did the kid want to do his science test? He didnt, who would want to do a science test...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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