Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

thumb_up thumb_down -5

almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Jesus was born and rased a jew

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock-knock? Who's there? I... I dunno I was planning on thinking of a joke before you said who's there, but I ran out of time.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I know a kid named Ruslonia. What type of name is that?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

It is true that Trump will make America great again.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black Santa Claus A N i g g e r that doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happens when a black person brakes his neck? He gets a neck brace just like anyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a poor Donald Trump? Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops