What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

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knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the boy fall off of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

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I can't submit this joke because I got the captcha wrong

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A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

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Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

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Caca.

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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what do a black guy and a white guy have in common? neither of them are purple

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

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Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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