Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

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What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

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why did the mexican choose to work as a landscaper instead of at taco bell? landscaping pays much better and was a more practical decision in this economy to support his family of 13.

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Holocaust jokes are not funny. And I don't see the humor behind them.

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i just pooped that is all!

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Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

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How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

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Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

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A guy walked into a store and bought a candy bar. Why? Because he wanted some chocolate.

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

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A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

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justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? She is a goner.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops