What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

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How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

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A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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knock knock whos there ben ben who ben ages since i seen you !!! vote this up please or a unicorn will die , unicorns are not real , but a moth can ride bikes so please vote this down

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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In an apartment complex, a black family lived on the first floor, a mexican family lived on the second floor, and a white family lived on the third floor. Suddenly, at about noon on tuseday, a giant tornado came through town and took out the entire complex, destroying everything. Why did only the white familey survive the catastophy? Because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

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Why couldn't the man read? Because he was illiterate

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Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

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What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

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What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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Wanna here a joke? Dylan Shipleys penis!!!

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why'd my house get destroyed I was afraid the tornado that hit mass was going to destroy it so I blew it up

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. ... Hah.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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You're Mother's so fat, she sat on a chair, and it broke.

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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