A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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yo mama is so dumb, she got all Fs on her report

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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Hello.

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Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

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How do you start a fire in the woods? Call Cole Ryder!

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What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

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Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

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Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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Caca.

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I can't submit this joke because I got the captcha wrong

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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