I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

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Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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What is so bad about a black jew. They have to sit in the back of the gas chamber

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what has genitial warts? me

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

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TRICERATOPS!

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How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops