What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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Send "What Makes You Beautiful" Ringtone to your CellShowHideSong Notes - Go behind the words! You're insecure, don't know what for You're turning heads when you walk through the do-o-or Don't need make-up - to cover up Being the way that you are is eno-o-ough Everyone else in the room can see it Everyone else but you Baby you light up my world like nobody else The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed the way you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell You don't know Oh oh You don't know you're beautiful! If only you saw what I could see you'd understand why I want you so desperatley Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe You don't know Oh oh You don't know you're beautiful! Read more: ONE DIRECTION - WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/what-makes-you-beautiful-lyrics-one-direction.html#ixzz1sJdk3KHD Copied from MetroLyrics.com

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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No, its just his eye, its infected, he gets fever and well, that is all I should say. Nero is my friend and I do not like it when people lie to him, he is outside having a cigarette, I do not think he wants to speak with you anymore. Bye.

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Keep Scrolling Penis Keep scrolling Keep scrolling

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there was a guy who had 2 horses... he entered them into races... they were rubbish... kept losing... so he entered them in 1 big race and said hed get rid of the loser... the horses made a plan to finish it at exactly same time... he heard them talking and said HOW DARE TALK

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If you are on this site, you have a shitty life. It is even shittier if you read this.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

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What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

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Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

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Your mom is so fat that she has high cholesterol. Moral: I AM NOT CRAZY! Said the man to the dog.

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sociopathic murderer.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Cameron is a r e t a r d

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VAL SUCKS

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Why is Jordan Abu Arabian ? Because his mom is!

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An atheist dies and so will we all, eventually.

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This is a random Anti joke.

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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