How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The FBI

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

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Why couldn't the rich dumbass get into colledge? He couldn't open the door

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If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

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I killed someone on minecraft.

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why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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Was that last joke funny? Well this one isn't.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one underneath it. What's worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It goes back for seconds.

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Whats funnier than 24, 69

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Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

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What do Lincoln, JFK, and Barack Obama all have in common? They were all president of the United States of America and are relatively good people.

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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What do you call a black man with pantyhose on his head. A white guy in the dark with black pantyhose on his head

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I scream, you scream, we all scream because we're getting murdered.

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Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

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Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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