Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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One time I walked into a fat kid..

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Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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Whatever you do in life, give 100%… unless you’re giving blood.

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My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

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how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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gay pom...

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

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GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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What did the agnostic say when he turned blue? He said "wow why am I blue?"

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What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if i gave a rats ass, I'd worry about you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops