How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? However many needed.

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Why did the cupcake walk into the bar? It can't it's a cupcake

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

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Q: Whats worse than Coke A: Diet Coke

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Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

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what does mandy enjoy on weekends a load of cum in her face

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What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Why did the student cry when he got an F on the test? because his dad beats him.

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Why are white people afraid of black people? The holocaust

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A White guy, Asian guy, and Black guy walk into a bar, and the Black guy wins the joke, as to not be racist.

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A car walked into a bar... wait no it didn't it has wheels.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Whatever you like, it can't hear you.

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

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where did juan go after getting hit by a bus? the ground

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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PENIS

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What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Damn

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what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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