Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

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"Docter, docter, I think I have cancer!" "I don't really care."

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What did one pare say to the other ... ... WE MAKE A GREAT PARE!!!

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

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What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

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I grunt when I poop.

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your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

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"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

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A blind man and his dog walk into a store, the man lifts up the dog and begins to spin around. When questioned about his activity the man replies, "I'm just looking around"

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A black guy and a white guy are walking down the sidewalk. As it suddenly begins to rain, what does the white guy say to the black guy? Nothing. They did not know each other.

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

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What did the young boy get his Father for Father's Day? A bouquet of flowers for his grave stone.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

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want to hear a cat joke? i'm just kitten....

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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What does a kid with no arms and legs get for christman.... Cancer...

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Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

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ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops